Bush Congratulates Obama

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Palestinean rep at UN

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly and made the world community smile. The Palestinian Representative's Speech at the UN 'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses. When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, 'What a good opportunity to have a bath!' He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. An Israeli had stolen them.' The Israeli representative jumped up furiously and shouted, 'What are you talking about?  The Israelis weren't there then.' The Palestinian representative smiled and said: 'And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.'

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Quips from Late Night Shows

Recent Quips from Late Night

"Couple of days ago in New Jersey, there were UFO sightings. Believe me, it's not an invasion. The aliens are actually here because they want some of that Federal bailout money." --David Letterman

"Do you have your tickets for the inauguration down in Washington? I sent in early. I sent the money in. I got my tickets back, lousy seats. You know where they put me? I'm right between Govs. Spitzer and Blagojevich." --David Letterman

"You know for each inauguration, the President adds his own little touches, his own signature note to the proceedings. For example, maybe you don't remember this but for the first Clinton inauguration, ladies drank free." --David Letterman

"Vice President-elect Joe Biden is already getting acquainted with his new responsibility as Vice President. And he's starting every afternoon at 3:00. He picks up Sasha and Malia from school." --David Letterman

"There was a historic meeting in Washington this week. Yesterday, Barack Obama and all the presidents met at the Oval Office. Did you see it? All the living ex-presidents were there. Jimmy Carter, George Bush Sr., Bill Clinton, Dick Cheney. All of them were there." --Jay Leno

"And, of course, you know, being president-elect is kind of awkward, because Barack Obama didn't have any experiences or accomplishments to talk about as president. So, at least he and President Bush had something in common." --Jay Leno

Activists are now pressuring President-elect Obama to make good on his pledge to end the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy in the military to allow gays to openly serve in the military. You know, I think it's about time. Don't you? Let me tell you something, if someone is willing to risk their life for our country, they should be able to watch 'Dancing with the Stars' openly." --Jay Leno

"I tell ya, the economy is bad. The economy is so bad, Iraqis can only afford to throw one shoe." --Jay Leno

"In a speech about the economy, Barack Obama said that Americans will soon be able to go online and see where the bailout money is being spent. In response, Americans said, 'Thanks, but we'll stick to downloading porn.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Now, during his speech, it's interesting, Barack Obama said, 'It will soon be too late to change course if we don't take dramatic action as soon as possible.' It's a quote, yeah. And Obama said the same thing about NBC's prime-time lineup." --Conan O'Brien

"On Inauguration Day, Barack Obama will be riding in a brand new presidential limousine made by General Motors. Yeah, the parade route is five miles long, so GM says Obama should only have to stop for gas twice." --Conan O'Brien

"The Bushes, by the way, aren't the only presidents to have their own china. Truman, Reagan and Clinton all had it, too. Though the Clinton service is missing some plates and I think a soup bowl because of Hillary throwing them at Bill. One time she really nailed him with a gravy boat. So that's missing too. But I'll tell you something, nothing, to me, says recession like spending half a million dollars on dinnerware." --Jimmy Kimmel.

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Useful Links

http://vixy.net/ converts flv (youtube) into other formats

http://mobile9.com has free ringtones, programs, games for your mobile phone that you can easily download with your WAP browser. this does have a ton of moving, flashing, and talking ads (easily defeated by adblockers)

http://woot.com sells one thing per day, usually deeply discounted

http://maxgames.com is apparently not blocked by websense, so you can play games at work

http://wwwl.meebo.com/index-en.html is AIM, YIM, and MSN in your browser

http://slickdeals.net has deals n' shit

http://www.wikihow.com/Main-Page how to do shit

http://code.google.com database of open source code

http://www.oswd.org/ open source web design

http://www.google.com/reader/ amalgamates rss feeds or some such shit, i don't know

http://zillow.com prices for any home, plus estimates on what you can do to raise the value of your home

http://citeseer.ist.psu.edu/ free sci library

http://pandora.com find music that is similar to music you already like

http://www.seeqpod.com/music/ find music in general

http://fatwallet.com deals

http://www.junglecrazy.com/ compiles deals from amazon.com onto one page

http://www.netvibes.com/ a good customizable home page that does rss feeds, tabs, etc etc

http://www.gethuman.com/us/ get real people when you call places

http://beeradvocate.com beer dorks

http://www.grandcentral.com/ visual voicemail on your phone, etc; has been bought by google

http://www.cdcovers.cc/ cd covers, dvd covers, etc

http://nyc.myopenbar.com/ happy hours in LA, NYC, Chicago, San Fran, Boston, DC

http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/ calculate distances you walk or run

http://mailinator.com if you need to sign up for spammy shit

http://www.snacksby.com/ tell it what you have and it can tell you recipes to cook

http://www.nanika.net/Metro/ cell phone software that has timetables and directions for the mass transit networks of hundreds of cities

http://www.citationmachine.net plug in info and it will make citations for you for papers and shit

http://www.musictheory.net/ a first year music course

http://steepandcheap.com like http://woot.com for outdoor equipment

http://makezine.com/blog/ DIY projects

http://zuji.com cheap ass airplanes tickets

http://www.gutenberg.org/ books n shit

http://riaaradar.com tells you if a band has an album released through a member of the RIAA

http://bubbl.us make brainstorming charts

http://www.site59.com last minute flight deals

http://www.google.com/intl/en_us/mobile/sms/ explains how to text message google and get directions, addresses, phone numbers, etc

http://caedes.net high res wallpapers

http://www.chordbook.com/guitartuner.php online guitar tuner

http://mandolux.com/ cool wallpapers; also has options for the people out there with a multiple monitor setup

http://orb.com stream your media over the web

http://www.sxc.hu/ free, high res stock images

http://www.youtube.infamousx.com/ watch deleted youtube vids

http://www.factcheck.org/ NO SPIN ZONE

http://www.betawatcher.com/ sign up to beta test games

https://www.mediamax.com 25 gigs of storage

http://proxy.espn.go.com/wireless/espn/wml/index this, plus a phone and a data plan, gives you updates to all kinds of faggy sports bullshit

http://www.video101course.com course on film, lighting, editing

http://www.idrink.com give ingredients, tells you what drinks you can make

http://portableapps.com/ full software suites that are bootable from a thumb drive

http://www.virtualnes.com/ play nintendo

http://www.t-nation.com/ articles and forums on bodybuilding, powerlifting, and sports training (they do hawk their supplements heavily)

http://windowsupdate.62nds.com/ the only reason you still used IE is eliminated

http://www.exrx.net/Lists/Directory.html shows and tells how to do almost any weightlifting exercise

http://www.wififreespot.com/ca.html locate free wifi hotspots

http://logmein.com browser interface, allows you access to your desktop files

http://bookmooch.com give away books, get points, get books

http://marxists.org everything marxists have written

http://www.ovguide.com/tvfilm.html compiles tv and movie sites

http://bloglines.com checks your favorite blogs for updates

lhttp://ala.com trade your old cds for new ones ($1.75 per trade)

http://brandsoftheworld.com/ huge free database of logos from all over the world

http://librivox.org/ users record public domain books into audiobook files, so they're free

http://www.gfxartist.com/features/tutorials drawing and painting tutorials

http://www.torrify.com portable web browser that can get by most proxies

http://pinger.com spam a voicemail to multiple people

http://www.tripadvisor.com/ forum where people, you know, advise you on trips (fastest way, cheapest way, places to see, etc)

http://www.typenow.net/themed.htm movie fonts for photoshops

http://empornium.us bittorrent porno

http://biopsychiatry.com/ abstracts from studies of many prescription drugs

http://www.youtube.com/ucberkeley UCB lectures on youtube

http://ffffound.com/ v cool found images

http://www.gasbuddy.com/ find cheapest gas near you

Posted via email from DesiDiary.Com

Useful Links

http://vixy.net/ converts flv (youtube) into other formats

http://mobile9.com has free ringtones, programs, games for your mobile phone that you can easily download with your WAP browser. this does have a ton of moving, flashing, and talking ads (easily defeated by adblockers)

http://woot.com sells one thing per day, usually deeply discounted

http://maxgames.com is apparently not blocked by websense, so you can play games at work

http://wwwl.meebo.com/index-en.html is AIM, YIM, and MSN in your browser

http://slickdeals.net has deals n' shit

http://www.wikihow.com/Main-Page how to do shit

http://code.google.com database of open source code

http://www.oswd.org/ open source web design

http://www.google.com/reader/ amalgamates rss feeds or some such shit, i don't know

http://zillow.com prices for any home, plus estimates on what you can do to raise the value of your home

http://citeseer.ist.psu.edu/ free sci library

http://pandora.com find music that is similar to music you already like

http://www.seeqpod.com/music/ find music in general

http://fatwallet.com deals

http://www.junglecrazy.com/ compiles deals from amazon.com onto one page

http://www.netvibes.com/ a good customizable home page that does rss feeds, tabs, etc etc

http://www.gethuman.com/us/ get real people when you call places

http://beeradvocate.com beer dorks

http://www.grandcentral.com/ visual voicemail on your phone, etc; has been bought by google

http://www.cdcovers.cc/ cd covers, dvd covers, etc

http://nyc.myopenbar.com/ happy hours in LA, NYC, Chicago, San Fran, Boston, DC

http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/ calculate distances you walk or run

http://mailinator.com if you need to sign up for spammy shit

http://www.snacksby.com/ tell it what you have and it can tell you recipes to cook

http://www.nanika.net/Metro/ cell phone software that has timetables and directions for the mass transit networks of hundreds of cities

http://www.citationmachine.net plug in info and it will make citations for you for papers and shit

http://www.musictheory.net/ a first year music course

http://steepandcheap.com like http://woot.com for outdoor equipment

http://makezine.com/blog/ DIY projects

http://zuji.com cheap ass airplanes tickets

http://www.gutenberg.org/ books n shit

http://riaaradar.com tells you if a band has an album released through a member of the RIAA

http://bubbl.us make brainstorming charts

http://www.site59.com last minute flight deals

http://www.google.com/intl/en_us/mobile/sms/ explains how to text message google and get directions, addresses, phone numbers, etc

http://caedes.net high res wallpapers

http://www.chordbook.com/guitartuner.php online guitar tuner

http://mandolux.com/ cool wallpapers; also has options for the people out there with a multiple monitor setup

http://orb.com stream your media over the web

http://www.sxc.hu/ free, high res stock images

http://www.youtube.infamousx.com/ watch deleted youtube vids

http://www.factcheck.org/ NO SPIN ZONE

http://www.betawatcher.com/ sign up to beta test games

https://www.mediamax.com 25 gigs of storage

http://proxy.espn.go.com/wireless/espn/wml/index this, plus a phone and a data plan, gives you updates to all kinds of faggy sports bullshit

http://www.video101course.com course on film, lighting, editing

http://www.idrink.com give ingredients, tells you what drinks you can make

http://portableapps.com/ full software suites that are bootable from a thumb drive

http://www.virtualnes.com/ play nintendo

http://www.t-nation.com/ articles and forums on bodybuilding, powerlifting, and sports training (they do hawk their supplements heavily)

http://windowsupdate.62nds.com/ the only reason you still used IE is eliminated

http://www.exrx.net/Lists/Directory.html shows and tells how to do almost any weightlifting exercise

http://www.wififreespot.com/ca.html locate free wifi hotspots

http://logmein.com browser interface, allows you access to your desktop files

http://bookmooch.com give away books, get points, get books

http://marxists.org everything marxists have written

http://www.ovguide.com/tvfilm.html compiles tv and movie sites

http://bloglines.com checks your favorite blogs for updates

lhttp://ala.com trade your old cds for new ones ($1.75 per trade)

http://brandsoftheworld.com/ huge free database of logos from all over the world

http://librivox.org/ users record public domain books into audiobook files, so they're free

http://www.gfxartist.com/features/tutorials drawing and painting tutorials

http://www.torrify.com portable web browser that can get by most proxies

http://pinger.com spam a voicemail to multiple people

http://www.tripadvisor.com/ forum where people, you know, advise you on trips (fastest way, cheapest way, places to see, etc)

http://www.typenow.net/themed.htm movie fonts for photoshops

http://biopsychiatry.com/ abstracts from studies of many prescription drugs

http://www.youtube.com/ucberkeley UCB lectures on youtube

http://ffffound.com/ v cool found images

http://www.gasbuddy.com/ find cheapest gas near you

Posted via email from DesiDiary.Com

Types of girls

 

CD-ROM GIRLS

 

She is always faster and faster.
 

 

***********

 

 
EMAIL GIRLS

 

Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense .
 
 
***********

 

 
HARD DISK GIRLS

 

She remembers everything, FOREVER

 

***********

 

 
INTERNET GIRLS

 

Difficult to access

 

***********

 

 
MULTIMEDIA GIRLS

 

She make horrible thing look beautiful

 

 
***********

 

SCREENSAVER GIRLS

 

She is good for nothing but at least she is fun

 

 
***********

 

RAM GIRLS

 

She forget about you, the moment turn her off

 

***********

 

 
WINDOW GIRLS

 

Everyone know that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

 

***********

 

 
VIRUS GIRLS

 

Also known as "wife'' when you are not expecting her, she comes, install herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if don't try you uninstall her you will lose everything...

 

***********

 

 
SERVER GIRLS

 

Always busy when you need her.

 

***********

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